February 27, 2009

Porno 4 diapers?!

Nadya It's been a few weeks now since their birth, and yet the controversy surrounding Nadya Suleman's (aka "Octo-mom's") decision to give birth to her eight remaining embryos continues to swirl like a hurricane. One thing's for sure, though - for every bit of support she gets, she's also handed quite a bit of criticism (even from her own mother and that bald bastion of mental health, Dr. Phil).

Is it justified? Well, when it comes to the single, unemployed mother already raising six kids on top of the eight new bundles of joy and is also on food stamps, it's up to you, the reader, to decide.

How will she pay for the hospital bill? Food? Diapers? Formula? Isn't there any generous company out there who will help her???

Sure there is - the good ole' compassionate porn industry.

T'would seem major porn distributor Vivid Entertainment (yeah, like I'm gonna' provide a link to that) sent Ms. Suleman a nice letter offering her $1 million bucks and health care for a year if she'd star in one of their...uh..."movies". (Pretty generous! That's-what-three weeks of formula for her kids?)

Huggies_pampers But before she could even think the perverted proposition over, the president of another morally upright porn company, Pink Visuals (I love these names!) offered her a year's supply of Huggies provided she didn't take off her clothes.

Well, that's...um....insulting?? Oh, wait - "There's a great deal of stigma attached to being a porn star" and Ms. Suleman needs to think "in the best interest of (her) children."

Well, thank goodness these smut peddlers are thinking of the best interests of her kids.

(For the record, Nadya declined the offer to be a "star", saying "Those guys at Vivid video must be nuts! Who wants to see me naked? Maybe in a year when the baby fat goes away."

But she was joking.

Maybe.

All I can hope is that another upstanding industry comes forth to help out Ms. Suleman. Who could it be? I'm looking at YOU, big tobacco!!!

- Jason

February 02, 2009

Did Super Bowl XLIII's ads score or fumble? (w/ video! Yay!)

Ben1 Another Super Bowl, another ring for Big Ben.

I'll admit, this time around the game was actually worth watching and, while I personally had no preference over who beat who, I actually enjoyed it for once.

But to a lot of people (including me), the game tends to be filler in between the long, expensive ads that companies roll out for the big game. And while this years batch seemed to be so-so at best (even after shelling out $3 million for 30 secondsof ad time in a struggling economy), there were a few giggles, laughs and possibly a gaffaw or two to be had.

So here, for your approval, are the tops of this years Super Bowl ads...

1. Beer-nanza

Budweiser tends to reign supreme over the laugh factor when it comes to ads. While they've gotten some stiff competition the past few years, they once again stood out pretty well time around. Take this one where Conan O'Brien brings the star power and the funny - in Swedish!...

And another good one (though I enjoyed the previous one better) was what happens when the budget is tight in the office (though I will admit, I wouldn't mind working here - I wouldn't have to be so discreet about drinking at the office then...jk. Seriously)...

And of course the slew of required Clydesdale ads. They've lost a bit of their gloss since the first one, but they're still pretty cool. The fetch one was worth a chuckle and the circus one was an "Awwww"-enduring moment. The ancestry, on the other hand, makes you want to puff out your chest and be proud to be an American. What else is more patriotic than horses and beer?!

On the other hand, Miller had a much more modest, yet no less talked about ad, that ran for a grand total of....one second.

This as opposed to the one second ads that didn't make the cut.

2. Ads that 'Pop"

Coke and Pepsi commercials can be hit and miss. Despite the handful of gems that come along every so often like "Mean" Joe Green or Cindy Crawford, some of these commercials can be a bit "bleah". But both comapnies did manage to pull out a few fun ones this year.

Coke had two that I thought really stood out. Not many of my friends really cared for the bugs invading the picnic and stealing the bottle of Coke, but I thought it was cute and, if nothing else, a real treat for the eyes and a needed break from the snow and cold outside...

...and they even revisited the "Mean" Joe Green ad...with a bit of a modern twist for Coke Zero ("Is he coming? IS HE COMING?!" Go, Polamalu, go!). This one cracked me up.

Pepsi was kind of a flat this year, in my opinion, though the MacGuyver rip-off ad "MacGruber" or...uh..."Pepsuber" featuring the original MacGuyver Richard Dean Anderson and SNL's Kristen Wiig and Will Forte was pretty good.

Pepsi also explained men and their remedy to the fear of diet cola. "I'm good!"

3. Need a new job? Stay Tuned!

The ads for online jobs sites have been getting better and better over the last couple years and I think they again did pretty well for themselves this time around. The Moose commercial from Monster.com was surprising and worth a laugh...

...but the one that I absolutely loved (and possibly my favorite this year) is Careerbuilder.com's signs that you should get a new job. The "Hey, dummy" part had me laughing out loud, along with the poor koala muttering "Oh, dear!" before being smoked in the face (I'm not really a violent person and I would never hurt an animal, I swear!)). Though for the record, my job does make me cry all the time...

4. Sex sells...apparently...again...

GoDaddy.com continues the ad campaign they started a few years ago with well-endowed women jiggling around to hock website domains, and for the second year they bring along NASCAR star Danica Patrick to seduce her way into your minds in two seperate spots, both to be continued at GoDaddy's website because they're supposedly "too hot for TV" (they're not). Below are the full versions...


Meh.

5. From the mouths of babes!

I guess the title to 5 could have worked for the videos of 4 too, bit I digress. The eTrade baby is back and this time he's brought a friend or two. These were enjoyable because, hey, who doesn't like a talking baby? Or a singing baby for that matter? "Take-uh...these bro-ken WIIIINGS!"

Heh, heh, heh. Shankapottomus...

6. "Tire"some ads that leave a chip on your shoulder

Actually, these ads aren't that tiresome or leave any chips on your shoulder, nacho-flavored or otherwise.

Bridgestone had a pair of fun commercials, one featuring a pair of astronauts getting their car chopped (probably by those pesky moon men) and another featuring everyone's favorite spud and his nagging wife. I know a few people whose mouths I wish would just fall off...

Doritos had a fairly good commercial featuring a snow globe that could tell the future and/or grant wishes. I'm not sure if I should add or retain points for the old "man gets nailed in the crotch" gag, though...

7. The rest of the team

The rest of the ads were hit-or-miss at best, though a couple were worth a view. Pedigree had a fun one featuring different pets wreaking havoc (but I still say a pet rhino named Rusty would be sweet!).

Teleflora's ad made me laugh. It involved a woman who recieves some very bad flowers at her workplace. Seriously, these were bad buds! "No one wants to see you naked!"

Finally, what do you do when you want star power but you're just too cheap to pay for it? Why, hire some bankrupt celebrities, of course! M.C. Hammer and Ed McMahon made for an interesting duo in a stupid commercial, hocking their medallions, giraffes, records and hip replacements (though personally, I could never part with a solid gold toilet).

So that's it - the highlights of this years Super Bowl commercials. I didn't include them all, obviously, but these were the best of the crop, at least as far as I'm concerned. Everything else just seemed underwhelming (not that these were terrific). Did you have a favorite that made the list? Didn't make the list? What do you think of this years ads compared to years past? Let us know!

- Jason

January 13, 2009

Gavin gets Perez'd

If you get naked on stage, you suddenly get Perez Hilton's attention. Findlay-native Gavin Creel made an appearance on PerezHilton.com today (the site is a bit NSFW, so consider yourself warned).

Gavin is wonderful but not usually on Perez Hilton's radar and the reason he's appearing now is he's starring as Claude in the Broadway revival of "Hair" (The show opens in New York March 31):

"Broadway hottie Gavin Creel who is going to be starring as Claude in the revival of Hair, at the New York Times Arts & Leisure Weekend event in NYC on Sunday.

Does he get naked in Hair?????

We hope so!"

It's a bit disconcerting to see a guy you went to high school being lusted over by the "Queen of all Media" (makes the times I occasionally get recognized from my column mug shot a little less impressive...)

I suppose any press is good press when you have a show opening in a tough economy, but I'd have gone with something more like this:

Gavin

January 12, 2009

Golden Globes not interested in publicity

Publicity isn't what it used to be.

Movies pushed on the masses as amazing fun for all were shut out at the Golden Globes this year.

Benjamin-button_larger The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost-Nixon and Mamma Mia! cast and crew sat in their seats and watched those people involved with relatively obscure films such as The Wrestler and Slumdog Millionaire took home award after award.

However, in a very poignant moment, Heath Ledger won for Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture for Dark Knight. I'd like to say he deserved it, but I wouldn't know. My husband loves the movie, but I can't bring myself to watch it just yet. Ledger's death robbed us of an amazing entertainer. Maybe by the next Golden Globes I'll have seen it.



For a full list of award winners, click this link right here.

This would illustrate the reason I don't watch these award shows.

Angelina-jolie-gg Rich people, like Angelina Jolie to the right, get dressed up to see if their movies were good enough for a bunch of judges. At no time are these awards based on the movies people want to see or the ones they enjoy.

I'm not saying there's no place for the awards. I'm just saying the average movie goer should stick to People's Choice Awards and ignore the industry driven award shows.

The only award show I watch that have more to do with the industry and the art of movie making is the Academy Awards.

Rourke Mickey Rourke, above, from The Wrestler took home the award for best performance by an actor in a drama motion picture. Sure, maybe he deserved it, but Brad Pitt and Frank Langella were probably shaking their heads in wonder after all the smiling for cameras they've done. Pitt was probably thinking of all the magazine shots and the Oprah appearance and thinking he might as well have stayed at home with "Angie" and the bazillion children.

Maybe next awards show.

While The Wrestler also took the award for Best Original Song (but it was Bruce Springsteen so how could it not win), it was Slumdog Millionaire that really showed the other movies who was boss.

Best original score, best screenplay, best director(Danny Boyle from Trainspotting and 28 Days Later) and best dramatic motion picture went to the story of Jamal Malik, an Indian teenager who struggles with poverty and wins a show which awards him a great deal of money. Then he's suspected of cheating.

Yeah, I've never heard of it, either. But apparently the Golden Globe people thought it was the best thing since sliced bread.

So here's the trailer of this amazing movie. It's already taught me something. Apparently rupees are currency in real places and not just in the land of Zelda. Who knew?

No Wine(house) for me, thanks.

Amyblake In a bold move, Amy Winehouse, at left with Blake Fielder-Civil, apparently went out in public long enough to horrify a man besides her husband.

Blake Fielder-Civil , the husband who tried to deaden the pain of being Mr. Winehouse with drugs while in prison, began divorce proceedings today. The reason? His wife cheated on him with Joshua Bowman. 

Okay, I'll say it. You know we're all thinking it.

Moreamyblake I'm surprised her husband can stand her at all even from a prison cell. How did she manage to get some other poor sap to be around her long enough to cheat on her husband?

That girl is messed up and rarely has good press. Maybe this Bowman guy will help her settle down, but most likely he woke up in the morning, called "Coyote Ugly" and ran for the hills. 

~Chandra 

December 26, 2008

The dark side of the Moon(light)

Moonlight Last winter, I fell in love with a TV show, "Moonlight." The series ran on CBS for 16 short episodes and I've been heartsick over it ever since.But during the last three weeks, my attention has been absorbed by the online soap opera this cancellation gave birth to.

The setting for the soap opera is a Web site, www.moonlightline.com, run by a woman known online as "Leeser."

By default, since Leeser owned the site and said she had sources at the show, she became the leader of that little corner of the fandom. She collected money for various things: coffee for the cast and crew, pizza for the writers during the strike, birthday presents for the cast and more. Nice things we wanted to do to thank them for their hard work. Yes, somehow in the madness of loving a show, I decided that actors who make at least triple my salary per episode needed free coffee and a pretty, pretty birthday present.

She decided to host a pricey convention in Los Angeles at about $150 a head, sending more than $20,000 directly into her bank account.

All the while hundreds of fans were sending tens of thousands of dollars her way for various projects. When the show got canceled, in a desperate rescue effort, the fans raised $15,000 and more for ads in trade publications, an anonymous donor steps forward to pay for ads on LA buses and sends Leeser $11,000 back in July.

Mlbusad The magazine ads appeared on time as promised, but the bus ads don't. They are late. And the anonymous donor begins to worry. Not a lot. Leeser's had thousands of dollars from the fans in her bank account over the last few months. Sure, no one has any accounting of them, but the fans trust her and the fact that she wants "Moonlight" as much as if not more than anyone else.

Over the course of a month, Leeser produces a variety of excuses regarding problems with the printer. They didn't get the art. There's an unspecified hold-up. An unspecified printer error means the ads must be redone. The dog ate her homework.

Leeser makes regular posts to the Web site about the delays when badgered, seeming herself the soul of patience and calm demeanor. E-mails fly across the Web not just from worried, "Moonlight"- deprived fans, but also from the anonymous donor to Leeser.

Repeated "issues with the printer" are blamed for the better part of a month and the donor decides to cut out the middle man. She contacts the advertising and printing companies herself.

Only to discover there is no problem on that end.

Leeser hasn't paid for the printing. She hasn't delivered the art work. The donor's $11,000 is somewhere, but it isn't paying for bus ads.

Her calls to Leeser get a little more frantic and a little more frequent. The printer receives $925 to pay for the actual printing, but still has no art from Leeser, who's not returning phone calls from the donor.

Finally, the donor realizes that she may be watching her money circle the drain. So she posts an announcement on the board with her accounting of the facts and asking for Leeser to respond. Hundreds of active fans, who've also entrusted Leeser with plenty of their own money, are suddenly very interested in what happened to this money.

The stench of misconduct is in the air and suddenly there was a possibility of money gone missing.

Which is where I came into the picture again. Back in July, I pestered Jason Smith, the graphics editor here into creating the ad, so when I read that post, I contacted the donor and became embroiled in the sordid tale. I sent her another copy of the file for the ad and ended the no-art argument. The printers have the art, the donor signs off on it and now the burden is solely on Leeser. The original contract expired Aug. 24, but they granted her an extension until Sept. 18 to produce the remaining money or there will be no ads.

In the spirit of the Internet, everyone has an opinion. Some plead for patience and trust in Leeser. Others demand an explanation and all the little black marks on her record begin to look that much darker.

Excuses Leeser reveals a tale of woe and ill fortunate that is stranger than any soap opera. The hold up, it seems is due to theft. Not Leeser's - she's the victim. Apparently the donor gave her two payments for the ads and for reasons still unclear, she cashed the second check and wandered into downtown L.A. with $3,000 cash in her wallet. Which she says was stolen.

She did not file a police report. She did not tell the donor. Instead, the woman concocted all manner of lies more appropriate to a four-year-old than a 44-year-old.

Leeser claims embarrassment as the reason for her lies and obfuscation, but still has not paid for the ads. Or returned the remainder of the money. An online uproar commences as the donor produces e-mails and other evidence to support every aspect of her story. Leeser posts a scanned copy of her driving license, claiming that to be proof of the theft of her wallet, containing the money.

With the door opened to that bit of misconduct, others come pouring in. Further questions began to be asked about the handling of fan donations. The other people who helped with the convention detail about a $10,000 in the money collected and the costs for the event.

Then the matter of magazine ads arise. No one is in any doubt that the money was collected, the ads appeared as promised. But no one knows exactly how much money was collected and Leeser has not responded to requests for a full accounting. Her silence was deafening.

But the ringing of my phone was not. My number is the only one that Variety has, other than Leeser's. The advertising representative, sounding much like the ones I hear calling local businesses from the other side of the newspaper office, called me to find out if she can get any other information about Leeser. Because Leeser has not paid for the ads. Her credit card, used to secure the full page ad, was declined. Since I'm used to hunting people down for stories, I managed to find an address and other small bits of information for the magazine.

On a hunch, I called The Hollywood Reporter and find out they, too, are quite interested in the whereabouts of Leeser, aka: Lisa Gerry.

About this time, people begin to ask the questions they should have in the beginning. Who is this woman? Can she be trusted with huge amounts of money?

Wayback What even a consummate con artist may not realize is that once something is on the Internet, it is there for the long haul. You can delete a page but odds are good the Google bot archived it and there are entire sites dedicated to archiving old pages. With just one bit of information people's tracks are quite easy to find.

Leeser had disclosed her real name and her mailing address, so researching her was as easy as Google. The woman had her fingers in all sorts of online schemes. She offered 24-hour notary services, Web design and public relations work. She had a pagan online church, a pagan preschool with accusations of fraud, pagan lawyers, the pagan kitchen sink.

She squatted on famous folks' domains and "facilitated" virtual life assistants.

Domleeser2 She had a really bad dominatrix page and not-safe-for-work ads for her services.

And all this for a fee.

A site was ultimately set up to track her cyber comings and goings and there were plenty of them.

It turns out Leeser was a lot more than just a super-fan trying to get "Moonlight" back on the air. She hadn't been working since January and maybe the fandom just started pouring money at her at just the wrong time, provided just the wrong temptation. But she refused to address the concerns of the people who'd put their trust in her.

Ultimately, Leeser shut the site down rather than answer questions, scattering critics to the winds of the Web and leaving people a little bit more cynical, a little bit more wise and with a little less money in the wallet.

I suppose this is less a soap opera and more a morality play. The lesson learned is to never send money across the Internet unless you're prepared to lose it. The Web can be the ultimate in self-delusion and mystery. No one is necessarily what they seem and a lie can be told with the click of a keyboard.

After all, there are places on the Web where I'm a skinny, leggy blond with an interest in skydiving and physics. But that's, um, another blog...

- Mariah

December 12, 2008

Leno finally hit his prime(time)

Leno613 It was announced earlier this week that Tonight Show host Jay Leno, whose contract with NBC was about to be up and his slot filled by Late Night host Conan O'Brien, has struck a new deal with the peacock.

And, oh, it's a sweet one.

Leno is leaving his 11:30 timeslot - to move to 10:00, one of television's coveted primetime hours, that will be aired 5 nights a week. Conan will take his promised 11:30 Tonight Show slot and the Late Night slot will be filled by former SNL (not so) funny man Jimmy Fallon.

Conan1 This gives Leno a broader audience on a fresher format, his new show being described as an "interview/variety-style" show. Jay himself had been wondering aloud and chatting with ABC executives about jumping ship and moving to the rival network where, almost assuredly, any late night program they put him on would steamroll the competition.

NBC-logo-RGB-pos On the other hand, this is a smart move on NBC's part, too. Not only do they get to keep Leno from making a move that would no doubt be a huge blow to the struggling 4th place network, but they also get to trim 5 hours of fat from their schedule.

The 10 to 11 p.m. timeslot has generally been filled with hour dramas. But the days of these shows are growing dreary as 1) interest in this style of show is waining quickly and 2) the fact that most of these shows are getting more and more expensive to make - some costing about $1 million per episode. With that in mind, NBC gets to trim a good chunk o' change from their budget for a much less costly show that already has a good following. It looks to be a smart move in this economic mess.

But what do you think? Will you watch Jay at the new hour? Will the Tonight Show ever be the same? And why Jimmy Fallon??? Why?!?!

- Jason

December 08, 2008

Disney makes Jack walk the plank

The first trip I ever took to a Disney theme park was when I was 5-years-old. One of the most distinct memories of that outing is getting Pinocchio's autograph, then quickly ducking away as so many starry-eyed kids mobbed him, he was literally pinned to a wall. Poor guy.

Disneyland JackSparrow Thus is the plight of the costumed Disney theme park employee. For every Cinderella, Tarzan and Eeyore, there's a throng of drooling children waiting to meet their entertainment icons. It can be a real job hazard.

But who would've guessed your theme park fanbase could get you fired?

It's being reported that Disneyland has fired all four of their Jack Sparrow actors due to recent problems with rowdy, young female park-goers flashing their, uh, "cannonballs" at the rock star pirate. "They lost control when they saw Jack Sparrow," said former Sparrow Brandon Pinto, who left the role about a year ago. "This is a sexy, rock-star pirate."

While park officials deny the claim and attributed the pulling of everyone's favorite Pirates of the Caribbean star to declining requests and popularity for the character, it's really does make you wonder, especially when this incident is followed closely by one actor's account of his former adventures as Jack at the "Happiest Place on Earth" (a recommended read - it's hilarious).

Tink1 But don't worry. While Jack Sparrows are being ousted, it looks like the Magic Kingdom is hiring extra actors to portray Tinkerbell and her fairy friends to help promote the release of Disney's new Tinkerbell movie.

Rowdy, manly pirates replaced with fairies? It's enough to make you want to protest!

Or maybe make a guy buy his own Jack Sparrow outfit...

- Jason

November 21, 2008

'Twilight' sparkles

Twilight_movie_poster There's nothing particularly unique about the story of "Twilight" on the surface. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love. Boy turns out to have a long pair of fangs destined for her luscious young neck."Twilight" is a Romeo-and-Juliet tale with a twist. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is a sweet, clumsy high school student who moves to Forks, Wash. to stay with her police chief father, Charlie (Billy Burke), when her mother gets remarried. There she meets Edward (Robert Pattinson), the gorgeous, seductive young man who's impossibly fast and strong and his skin is ice cold.

He's 17 and he's been 17 for a while. And his appeal to tweens and their mothers -- and certain bloggers -- is bound to last awhile, too.

Edward's family, the Cullens, are vampires as well, but fortunately for Bella, they are "vegetarian" vampires as they like to call themselves and only feed on animals. Unfortunately, not all vampires share their compunctions about feeding on humans and when three such vampires catch Bella in the Cullens' midst, she becomes a tasty prize.

The movie is obviously a small budget character film that has suddenly been shoehorned into a blockbuster role. It's been put into a studio tent pole position, a role that doesn't quite fit. The special effects are passable -- no bits that are clearly green screened, the deft touch of Industrial Lights and Magic make their own sort of magic --but not impressive the way a movie with such hype should be.

Particularly awful is a scene in which Edward reveals what he looks like in the light, described in the book as though his skin was made of diamonds. What reads well on the page doesn't always translate to impressive on the screen. This effect, as Edward turns angsty and melodramatically toward the camera, results in guffaws instead of awed sighs.

Any sin can be forgiven, though, for the sake of the on screen couple. When Edward and Bella share the screen, they gain a gravity that pulls every member of the audience into their orbit. The two have an undeniable chemistry and the yearning between the two is painful and beautiful and carries even the cheesiest lines.

The love story makes this film a winner no matter what. And it means I'm going back again and again and again...

-Mariah

November 13, 2008

Barbara Walters does not know fascinating

Fascinating It's that time of year again. When Barbara Walters becomes the arbitor of what's "fascinating."

Walters is weighing in with her annual "10 Most Fascinating People" special and the list includes Tom Cruise, Tina Fey, Will Smith, Rush Limbaugh, Miley Cyrus and Michael Phelps. The names of four honorees were withheld, but the list comes from the year's most prominent names in entertainment, sports, politics and pop culture.

Rush Limbaugh? Really? That's so 1995, Babs. Try Al Franken who made a brilliant and satirically genius run for the Senate (that he may actually have won, pending a recount).

Tom Cruise? I've had more than enough of that domineering lunatic. Let's have a new crazy, like Amy Winehouse or Lindsay Lohan.

I'm hoping those last four are good (like Michelle Obama, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, Tim Gunn, will.i.am ... she'd be lucky to nab GOP sweetheart Sarah Palin) but I have a feeling it's more likely to include overexposed celebs like one half of Brangelina, Victoria Beckham, Sarah Jessica Parker.

The septuagenarian journalist will air her annual "10 Most Fascinating People" special Dec. 4 on ABC.