The Daily Mail is circulating a list of the Material Girl's do's and don't issued to Guy Ritchie for his sons' visit to London this week. The Brit tabloid says they were sent by email from her PA.
Here are a few of the wonders of parenting endorsed by Madonna:
- Under no circumstances should they read newspapers, magazines or watch TV (understandable since the family is current tabloid fodder, but wait...) or DVDs
- They must adhere at all times to a macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic diet with no processed or refined food (OK, I get the idea behind this, but what kid can't eat Twinkies?)
- All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabbalah water (mountain water blessed by leaders of the Kabbalah religion)
- They should wear the clothes Madonna has sent with them on the flight. If they need to be bought anything, they should not contain man-made fibers
-Their hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places
- Madonna should have phone contact with the boys as much as three or four times a day at times set by her (really, Madonna? Do you afford Guy the same rights?)
- At bedtime, Guy should read David the English Rose books Madonna wrote (oh, now you've done it, I think I'm going to throw up in my mouth a little).
Am I wrong? Is this sane advice from a stable mother?